The Worst Movies Of 2018

Image courtesy of Lionsgate.

Like a flatulent elephant following a hearty bamboo snack, 2018 stunk out loud. From Donald Trump's increasingly disturbing antics to nearly everyone I know being stricken with some type of misfortune, the past 12 months were, well, not good.

That being said, it was a pretty decent year for movies. But more on that later after Pittsburgh finally brings in the final two movies upon which I am waiting before I can make my best of the year list.

In the meantime, it's time to look back - albeit not fondly - on some of the year's worst movies. There weren't any huge bombs, although I have missed a number of movies this year, especially big budget ones, that conceivably could have sucked. Since I am a glutton for punishment, I will likely catch up with them in the new year.

Without further ado, here are 10 movies to avoid from 2018:

10. The Nun - A religious-themed horror movie from the "Conjuring" universe that is so lacking in scares that it'll make you say, "Holy shit!" Reviewed here.

9. Truth or Dare -
Q: Truth or dare?
A: Truth
Q: Is "Truth or Dare" any good?
A: No
Reviewed here.

8. Death Wish - Eli Roth continues his tradition of making my worst of the year list with this noxious remake of the 1974 Charles Bronson film that feels like an imbecilic alt-right fantasy.

7. Gotti - Regarding this often hilariously bad film about the Teflon Don, it's best that you fuggedaboutit.

6. The Strangers Prey at Night - Some people seemingly thought the nihilistic 2008 original was good and, therefore, decided to make a second chapter 10 years later. It still sucks.

5. Dead Night - Hammy acting and a nonsensical story made this 86 minute horror movie feel longer than all of the "Lord of the Rings" films combined.

4. Slender Man - To call this picture, which somewhat sleazily capitalizes on the real-life incident in which two girls tried to sacrifice another to the titular figure, slender would be generous. Reviewed here.

3. The Happytime Murders - Some of the characters in this comedy about foul mouthed and sexually active puppets come alive on screen due to puppeteers having their hands up their asses. The filmmakers, on the other hand, have their heads in theirs. Reviewed here.

2. Mile 22 - Peter Berg goes full Michael Bay with this ridiculous CIA action thriller in which Mark Wahlberg essentially plays that guy who gets hopped up on cocaine, corners you at a party and forces you to listen to conspiracy theories.

1. The Row - Imagine one of the most inept slasher films you've ever seen, a twist you can see from a mile away and a filmmaking style that appears to have been influenced by "Girls Gone Wild" videos. Now imagine that film starring Randy Couture and Lala Kent - yes, the one from "Vanderpump Rules."

Other movies to avoid: "Super Troopers 2," "Insidious: The Last Key," "The Strange Ones," "Winchester," "Fifty Shades Freed," "The 15:17 to Paris," "The Vanishing of Sidney Hall," "Life of the Party," "Tag," "Double Lover," "Pacific Rim: Uprising," "Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again," "Kings," "The Spy Who Dumped Me," "Superfly," "Ghost Stories," "Skyscraper" and "Never Goin' Back."