The Worst Movies Of 2017

Transformers: The Last Knight. Image courtesy of Paramount Pictures.

Overall, 2017 was a decent year for movies - albeit not quite the great year that some have proclaimed - but there will be more on that later this year when I complete my best of 2017 list.

As is the case every year, 2017 subjected viewers to a number of stinkers. I forced myself to sit through a number of lousy movies, so that you don't have to do so. You're welcome.

However, I missed a fair amount of movies this year, both good and bad. Several fairly prominently lambasted films passed me by. Since I'm a glutton for punishment, I might eventually catch up with them. Or maybe not. Regardless, below find the list of the worst offerings of 2017.

Before I get to my top 10 worst, I'd be remiss not to steer you away from the following disasters: the silly action thriller "Collide," the nasty "Belko Experiment," the bottom of the barrel found footage movie "Phoenix Forgotten," the unnecessary reboots "XXX: Return of Xander Cage" and "The Mummy," the rare Zhang Yimou misfire "The Great Wall," the foolishly reimagined "Baywatch" and "Ghost in the Shell," the not-as-funny-as-it-thinks-it-is "The Little Hours," lifeless comedies "CHIPS" and "Literally, Right Before Aaron," the Wes Anderson/Todd Solondz knockoff "Lemon," the unpleasant "Vincent N Roxxy," the wannabe lurid "Fifty Shades Darker," the inexplicable "Book of Henry," unfunny "The House," boring "Alien" knockoff "Life" and way overrated "Free Fire."

Now, on to the 10 worst.

10. Rough Night - "Bridesmaids" was a hilarious showcase for women comedians that showed that the ladies could be just as raunchy as the fellas. "Rough Night" is another film in that vein - and a particularly unfunny one.

9. Snatched - Amy Schumer's breakthrough film, "Trainwreck," brought her deserved acclaim. It was a funny movie, whereas this latest effort was a depressingly unfunny slog. Even more inexplicable is why Goldie Hawn chose this film to come out of semi-retirement.

8. Rings - A once-creepy horror franchise wipes off the dust and makes an unnecessary return. This new entry feels dated and is often unintentionally funny.

7. Woodshock - Fashion designers Laura and Kate Mulleavy make the transition to filmmaking and, despite having a sense of visual style, this lackluster thriller is experimental in the worst way. Rather than provoking and creating a sense of mystery, "Woodshock" is a crashing bore, albeit one that is occasionally filled with lovely imagery.

6. We Are the Flesh - This grim Mexican horror movie exists for no other purpose than displaying the nude bodies of its cast for much of its running time as they hide out in an underground layer during what appears to be some sort of apocalyptic event. The picture clearly wants to be a button pusher - however, the only button with which viewers might be concerned is the one used for fast forwarding.

5. Wish Upon - There's little to say about numbers five and four on this list, other than that they are particularly lame and poorly made horror movies. However, the one selling point in "Wish Upon" is Ryan Phillipe's hip dad character who, for no particular reason, rocks out on a saxophone to Kenny G-style melodies.

4. The Bye Bye Man - As I'd mentioned above, just a lame horror movie. "The Bye Bye Man" is not particularly scary, often provoking laughter rather than screams, and boasts some chintzy special effects. Avoid.

3. The Dark Tower - This disaster ranks as one of the worst film adaptations of Stephen King's work - and that's saying something. Matthew McConaughey is forced to ham his way through a silly villain role and the story has been chopped down so much that the film hardly makes sense. There's a mantra throughout the film regarding the forgetting of one's father's face - skip that sentiment and just forget this film instead.

2. The Circle - This is a perfect case of a bad film happening to good people. Director James Ponsoldt was previously responsible for "The Spectacular Now" (which was in my top 10 best of 2013) and "The End of the Tour," while Emma Watson is always watchable, Tom Hanks is an icon and Ellar Coltrane previously impressed me in "Boyhood." But "The Circle" is a bona fide catastrophe. It's a thriller about a start-up company and includes a script that makes me wonder if its writers know anything about start-ups. Or thrillers. Or the way people speak. Or humans.

1. Transformers: The Last Knight - Michael Bay joins the illustrious company of Eli Roth, making him only the second director to have more than one film ranked as my worst of the year in the 21st century. In this fifth (!) entry into the increasingly awful "Transformers" series, Bay seems to have gone off the deep end. Not only does his latest sequel continue the ongoing yawn-inducing battle between two various pieces of clunky machinery on planet Earth, but it also features a subplot involving John Turturro in Cuba and includes a flashback to King Arthur and Merlin. You read that correctly. This is a film in which a bunch of shit just literally happens for no rhyme or reason. And when the filmmakers have painted themselves into a narrative corner, some more shit just literally happens. For two-and-a-half hours. Proceed at your own risk.