Review: The Mummy

Image courtesy of Universal Pictures.

This month's prize for the most unnecessary reboot goes to "The Mummy," a particularly silly overdose of special effects that certainly won't bolster the career of Tom Cruise, nor likely be the kick-off that Universal Pictures hopes for its Dark Universe series - which means that we'll be seeing more of Dracula, Frankenstein, the Invisible Man and whoever else during the next few years.

In the film, Cruise plays Nick Morton - a character whom he probably should have played 20 years ago or, perhaps, not at all - as an adventure loving military guy who shows up at a spot in Iraq, where he believes a treasure is buried. Shortly before meeting Nick, we are privy to a flashback during which a particularly nasty Egyptian princess is buried alive for murdering her family after making a pact with Set (as one does), the Egyptian god of death, and - countless centuries later - a British scientist played by Russell Crowe discovers a tomb in England containing some artifacts that may relate to the princess.

But back to Nick Morton, who enlists a pal (Jake Johnson) to help him find a treasure in Iraq, resulting in the duo running from a group of angry jihadists and accidentally stumbling upon the grave of the angry Egyptian princess, whose name is Ahmanet (played by Sofia Boutella). As it turns out, Ahmanet, was captured during a moment of coitus interruptus, during which she intended to stab the man she was with and allow Set to take over his body (as one does). Or something like that. Now, Ahmanet has set her eyes on Nick for the same purpose.

Amid all this, Nick befriends an investigator named Jenny (Annabelle Wallis) and her boss (Crowe). The film's biggest groan - and there are many of them, trust me - occurs when Crowe's character reveals his last name. When people complain of blockbuster films' attempts at "world building" and how corny it can be, this is a prime example.

Another unfortunate element of "The Mummy" is that Johnson's character, who dies early on, reappears as an undead friend who occasionally pops up to give Cruise's character clues, much in the vein of "An American Werewolf in London," although - in this case - it's not particularly funny.

There are special effects galore in this film - Cruise and Wallis dodge flying buses, flying cars (more than once), flying pieces of buildings, flying creatures, flying body parts from undead soldiers, flying rocks - well, you get the picture. Although, I'll give credit for one sequence, during which Ahmanet has first escaped from her tomb, kills two British cops and turns them into zombies. The special effects and cinematography during this one inspired sequence feel more like those of an old Lucio Fulci movie than your typical CGI'd-to-death summer blockbuster.

But "The Mummy" is otherwise a misfire. The original "Mummy" reboot with Brendan Fraser from the late 1990s was also spectacularly silly, but also sorta fun, although the sequels mostly stank. So, in other words, there is no particular reason to have rebooted this series yet again, other than - as Mel Brooks would call it - the search for more money. And as I said before, this is only the beginning. Dracula and other classic villains of yesteryear are about to get rebooted yet again. God help us.