File Under Department of 'Shut the #@!* Up'

Who was it that said 'Opinions are like assholes - everyone has one'?

So, I'm walking down the street of my quaint Queens neighborhood this evening when one of my neighbors from a few doors down passes me on the street and upon noticing a shirt I'm wearing that features a logo, says to me: "[Logo's Brand] is bullshit."

"Excuse me?" I say, a bit taken aback at being accosted on the street with passive aggressive remarks by a person I've not only never spoken to but, I believe, never even seen before.

"[Logo] sucks," she says. I explain my affiliation with said logo, which I won't give name because it's really besides the point. "Well, just sayin'," she says and then proceeds to point downwards with her thumbs and make that farting noise with her mouth that insinuates displeasure. "No bueno." I feel compelled to point out that this woman was not, in fact, a Latina.

Now, I just returned from Greece from my honeymoon. And I must say, I was surprised by how generous, good humored, kind and helpful Greeks were, considering recent portrayals of their country being in financial turmoil. During my entire visit, I think I witnessed a total three protesters with a few homemade signs. And even they were carrying on in a polite manner.

I'm getting off topic.

I guess what I'm trying to ask is how did people in these United States start becoming so entitled that it's become commonplace to randomly berate complete strangers on the street and force their nasty opinions down the throats of others?

You may think I'm reaching here. And you could make that argument had this been the first incident I'd experienced during which someone who I'd never met suddenly feels they have the right to ensnare me in their bitterness.

Alas, this is not the case. In years past, I've had neighbors get coked out of their heads and try to beat down my door because they thought I was playing my music too loud when, in fact, I had been asleep with no music playing at all.

Then, there was the neighbor standing outside my door first thing in the morning who screamed and cursed at me because he thought I'd forgotten to lock one of the locks on our building.

Most recently, I had a neighbor leave a manifesto on my doorstep, accusing me of walking too much in my apartment and asking me to wear slippers more often.

No, seriously. What the hell is going on? Where do people get off? And why am I writing about this? There's a new Woody Allen movie coming out and, the week after that, "Beasts of the Southern Wild," which is one of the most acclaimed films of the year so far. I have better ways of spending my time.

So, I'll leave it at this. As my mother once said, "If you don't have something nice to say, then file your complaint under the Department of 'Shut the #&*! Up.'